Some cases of depression and anxiety can be helped by incorporating talk about self-care, self-esteem support, and assertiveness. We tend to do to ourselves and others what happened to us in childhood. Now as adults we must give ourselves all the healthy things we need from healthy parents. Here are some things to do to change the basis of depression and anxiety:

Step one: Write down the negative things you think about yourself, others, and your circumstances. This activity will bring into your conscious awareness the negative thinking and self-talk that are common to many types of depression and anxiety. Negative talk and self-criticism is demoralizing and manifests as feeling down, blue, sad, anxious, fearful, and self-doubt. This bad mood and anxiety affects sleep, eating and low energy. Common examples of negative self-talk are: I’m helpless, I can’t do it, I’m unpopular, I’m a failure, I failed again, I can’t do it, no one wants to talk to me, no one cares about me, etc.

Step Two: Write statements that are self-care, nourishing, reassuring, supportive, and validating. This exercise helps identify opposites in negative self-talk: I can do this, I have many abilities, I am caring and kind, I can have what I need and want, I deserve to be happy, I can succeed, etc. .

Step Three: Write down the negative things your parents said or passed on to you when you were growing up. Here you can write down what you thought your parents felt about you through what they said or did such as: I wish you were never born I don’t love you I don’t care about you I don’t want to be around you You are in the way You are annoying You have to be seen and no hear, etc.

Step Four: Write down the things you need or want your parents to say to you when you were a child. Here you can write the things you want or want parents to say or do like: I love you no matter what happens I’m so happy you’re in my life You can make it work It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt Everything will be okay I felt the same way that you feel sometimes, you can do anything, you are good at it, thanks for helping me, you are so kind and caring, etc.

Step 5. Write down what you would do or say if you saw another child being treated the way you were treated in #3. If you heard someone say mean things to a child or slap a child, what would you say? You could probably say things like: you don’t have the right to say that, be nice to the child, the child needs your love, you need to support your child and be reassuring, caring, loving and loving, you should be encouraging, etc. .

Step 6. If you had all the positive things you needed as a child from healthy parents, how do you imagine your life might be different today? If your parents said encouraging, caring, and supportive things to you as a child, how do you imagine your life might be different today? This step helps you formulate and create a vision of how your life can be different in a healthy way. Depression that comes from negative self-talk is a form of self-abandonment and self-abuse. The extreme degree of self-harm and self-abandonment is self-harm and suicidal ideation. Conversely, hope, optimism, self-esteem, and self-confidence form the basis of a stable mood, a sense of safety and security, confidence, well-being, inner peace, personal strength, and happiness.

Step 7 Now you should have all of the things you need your parents to be for you: encouragement, nurturing, loving, caring, supportive, and reassuring. This means that you need to tell yourself and be yourself all the positive things that you need from healthy parents. If no one else can give you the care you need, who will leave you? In the end, you are the one who has to take care of yourself. This means that you should choose healthy people to be in your life, and you should be supportive of yourself and that other person who cares about you. This way you will take care of yourself. Another important piece is standing up for yourself and supporting yourself when others treat you badly.

Step Eight: Be assertive And I say things like: I don’t like your tone, I deserve more respect, I deserve a raise, I feel bad when…etc. Take care of that little boy or girl who has been abused and abused. This little boy or girl is still inside you and needs your protection. Be yourself now what you need next. Will you defend him or her?